When I turned 40, I gave myself an assignment that had nothing to do with career goals, financial planning, or the next chapter of my life. Instead, I sat down with a blank sheet of paper and began listing the people who had shaped my life.  People whose influence, encouragement, or example had meaningfully contributed to where I was.

The list came faster than I expected. Mentors, teachers, coaches, colleagues, and friends all came to mind. Some had played major roles in pivotal decisions. Others had made what seemed like small contributions at the time but had left a lasting imprint. Before long I had more than 100 names written down.

That exercise alone was eye-opening and reframed how I thought about success. What I had once considered an individual journey began to look more like a collective effort guiding me in ways I didn’t fully appreciate in the moment.

I knew I couldn’t reach out to everyone, so I narrowed the list to 25 individuals whose impact felt especially foundational. I tracked down each one, write a personal letter, and sent a small gift as a token of my appreciation.

I wrote to my high school basketball coach, who taught me discipline, accountability, and how to handle both success and failure with perspective. I wrote to a dean of engineering who encouraged me to pursue a path I hadn’t fully considered for myself, helping set the direction for my career. I wrote to leaders who trusted me with responsibility before I felt ready, and to friends who challenged and supported me along the way.

Each letter was different, but they all shared a common message: you made a difference in my life, and I haven’t forgotten.

What I didn’t anticipate was how much the process would impact me. Writing those letters forced me to slow down and reflect in a way I hadn’t before. It made me recognize how often the most important influences in our lives are quiet and easily overlooked. Rarely are they grand or obvious in the moment, yet over time they shape how we think, how we act, and who we become.

It also changed how I think about recognition.

Too often, we reserve gratitude for milestone moments—retirements, major achievements, or significant life events. But the people who influence us don’t operate on a schedule. Their impact happens in real time, often without recognition, and sometimes without their awareness.

So I made it a habit.

Each December, I take time to reflect on the previous twelve months and identify the people who made a difference in my life. Sometimes it’s a client who challenged my thinking, a colleague who offered perspective at just the right moment, or a friend who showed up when it mattered. Then I reach out. A note, a call, or a message that lets them know their impact was seen and appreciated.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate to be meaningful. What matters is that it’s specific and sincere.

Over time, I’ve come to believe that this habit of recognition is about more than gratitude. It’s about awareness. It reminds us that success is rarely a solo act. It reinforces the importance of relationships. And it shapes the way we show up for others, knowing that our own words and actions may have more influence than we realize.

Just as there are people who have changed your life without knowing it, there are likely ways you’ve influenced others without realizing it. A conversation you barely remember. A piece of encouragement you offered in passing. An example you set without intending to teach anything at all. These moments matter more than we think.

Which brings me to a simple question.

If you took the time to make your list today, who would be on it? Who are the people whose influence helped shape your path? And have you told them in a way that truly reflects what they meant to you?

You don’t need to start with 25 names. Start with one. Take the time to write the note or make the call. Let them know specifically what they did and why it mattered.

There are people walking around today who played a meaningful role in your life, and they may have no idea. Take the time today to make sure they do.

Tony Thelen is the founder of The River Coaching & Consulting, LLC, where he works with CEOs and senior leaders to help them live and lead with clarity, purpose, and intention. “The River” is a weekly column focused on practical wisdom for a fulfilling life and successful career. Learn more at www.therivercoaching.com or contact him at [email protected].