Every winter on West Okoboji has its own personality. Some years the cold creeps in slowly, like a shy guest settling into the room. Other years, like this one, it charges through the door with a fierce wind, rattling the windows, biting at our faces, and reminding us that nature can be both stunningly beautiful and brutally indifferent.

Yet even in the harshest winters, there are moments, quiet, almost invisible, that carry an outsized warmth. Moments that remind us that while life can feel cold and windy and full of its own storms, there is always something nearby that can reconnect us to what matters.

A few days ago, I walked out into the bitter cold and noticed a small bird perched on our deck rail. Fluffed against the wind, head tucked, seemingly weighing whether this day was worth the trouble. I didn’t have much to offer, just a handful of breadcrumbs. But when I scattered them across the snow, that little bird hopped forward with a sense of hope disproportionate to the size of the offering.

And here’s the beautiful part: I felt better too.

The storm didn’t stop. The wind didn’t relent. My own stresses didn’t disappear. But in choosing connection, by meeting one tiny creature where it stood, I felt a small warming inside. A reminder that kindness, even the smallest kind, has a ripple effect far beyond its size.

We sometimes imagine that kindness must be grand or orchestrated. We wait for the right moment, the right person, the right circumstance. But more often, it’s the smallest gestures that shift the world around us:
• A stranger holding the door.
• A smile across the grocery aisle.
• A text message saying, “Thinking of you today.”
• A cup of coffee handed to a coworker who’s struggling.

These things cost almost nothing. Yet they have disproportionate power in the same way that a tiny flame can warm an entire room on a bitter day.

And, this is important, they don’t just lighten someone else’s load. They lighten ours too.

We don’t talk about this enough. We live in a world where many carry invisible heaviness. Stress. Worry. Loss. Loneliness. The hard stuff that doesn’t show up on social media. When we practice small kindness, not the performative kind, but the real, simple, human kind, we create a brief doorway out of our own worry. We connect, even if just for a moment, with the shared experience of being human.

Kindness doesn’t disconnect us from our problems, but it does give our souls a place to catch their breath.

In my coaching work, I often see how people imagine life’s challenges as giant boulders—immovable, heavy, unavoidable. But sometimes the thing that makes the boulder easier to carry is not a breakthrough strategy or a major shift in circumstances. Sometimes it’s a moment of connection: someone seeing us, someone encouraging us, someone showing a little warmth in a cold season.

Even in the harshest winters, warmth is always nearby if we’re willing to notice it.

Maybe this winter you’re facing a storm of your own. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s strained. Or a job that feels uncertain. Or a loss you’re trying to make sense of. Or the heaviness that can settle on a person this time of year when the days are short and the darkness comes early.

If so, try this:
Look for one small kindness you can offer today. Just one.
Feed a bird. Send a note. Hold a hand. Make eye contact and smile.

Not because it solves everything, but because these tiny gestures reveal something profound: even in winter, life has warmth tucked right next to the cold.

Even in difficulty, there are moments of grace.
Even in loneliness, there are opportunities for connection.

And every time we choose kindness, we are reminded of a quiet truth:
The world may be cold, but we don’t have to be.

This week, as the wind snaps at our coats and the snow piles up along the lake, may we all find one small chance to brighten someone’s day. And in doing so, may we discover that our own day, our own winter, feels just a little bit warmer too.

Tony Thelen is an executive coach and founder of The River Coaching and Consulting based in West Okoboji, Iowa.  He has a new book called “Things We Desire” that is available on Amazon or any major book retailer, contact him for signed and personalized copies at [email protected]