Dear Tony,
I’m normally a positive person, but I’ve had some bad things happen to me recently. How can I remain positive when it seems like nothing is going right?

I appreciate your honesty, and I’m truly sorry you're walking through a rough stretch. If you live long enough, life will find a way to knock the wind out of your sails. None of us are immune to loss, frustration, or moments when we feel like we’re barely hanging on. But I’ve come to believe that these hard moments—though painful—often shape us more than the good times ever could.

Last summer, I learned this firsthand when a flood swept through the Iowa Great Lakes area. What started as a quiet weekend turned quickly into chaos, and within hours, water was rising around homes and streets like a scene from a movie. But what I remember most isn’t the damage. It’s the people.

At 6 a.m. that Monday, I called my friend Elijah Cornell, hoping he might know someone who could help build sandbag lines. Elijah works in construction. I figured he’d point me to a crew. He did more than that—he showed up himself, along with his entire team, and they worked all day, knee-deep in water, without hesitation.

Then I called Nick Elser at the C&B John Deere store in Lake Park, asking if he had a spare tractor to help us move sandbags through 29 inches of water. Within 30 minutes, Nick didn’t just say yes—he said, “We’ll bring the tractor and our team to help.” And they did. When we needed another tractor to run a pump to evacuate flood waters from homes, my brother-in-law Michael Murphy from Sheldon gave us his.

Local radio station KUOO broadcast a request for volunteers, and the community responded. Tourists interrupted their vacations to shovel sand beside mayors, business owners, high school students, and retirees. It wasn’t long before our sandbag walls started going up—and so did our spirits.

I got to know my neighbors in a way I never had before. In between hauling bags and checking on sump pumps, we shared stories, coffee, and concern. In Spencer, just to our south, a thrift store called “Many Hands for Haiti” was nearly wiped out. Local leaders Seth and Angie McCauley didn’t let it go. They rebranded the effort as “Many Hands for Spencer,” rallied support, and recently donated $10,000 to help others in their community rebuild.

These were not headlines. They were heartlines. And they reminded me of six quiet gifts that often show up when life falls apart:

• Focus – Suddenly, only what truly matters comes into view.
• Opportunity – Hardship shakes us loose from our routines and opens doors we might never have noticed.
• Faith – In the worst of times, you find the best in people.
• Confidence – Getting through a crisis gives you a different kind of strength.
• Gratitude – Even the smallest moments start to shine.
• Love – At the core of it all, it’s love that carries us through.

We lost a lot last year. Some things—like time with family at the lake or the financial cost of rebuilding—may never be fully recovered. But what we gained in relationships, perspective, and purpose? That’s something I’ll carry with me the rest of my life.

So to the person who wrote in: I believe your silver linings are coming. They may not be obvious right now. But hold on. The storm doesn’t get the last word. And when you emerge from it, I believe you’ll see more clearly, love more deeply, and live more fully than you ever imagined.

And just maybe, one day you’ll be someone’s Elijah. Someone’s Nick. Someone’s silver lining.

Check out my website for FREE resources and more at www.therivercoach.org
Got a question? Send it directly to Tony at [email protected]