In 1997, I found myself in Denver, Colorado, attending an industry event for the agricultural parts and service business. Most of the sessions were what you’d expect—technical talks, business insights, and best practices. But there was one class everyone kept buzzing about. A motivational speaker named Dr. Alan Zimmerman was leading it, and the word in the hallways was that his demonstration was unforgettable.

Curiosity got the best of me, so I slipped into the back of the room. What I saw that day changed the way I thought about strength, both physical and emotional, forever.

The room held nearly 200 people, mostly dealership staff. Dr. Zimmerman asked for a volunteer, a dealer many of us knew well. He called him to the front and asked him to stretch his arms straight out to his sides. “Resist with all your strength,” Alan instructed, as he pressed down on the dealer’s arms. No matter how hard Alan tried, the arms held firm. It was clear the man was strong.

Then, Zimmerman sent the volunteer out into the hallway. While he was gone, Alan gave the rest of us two instructions. First, when the volunteer returned, we were to silently think only negative thoughts about him: “He’s weak,” “He can’t do anything right,” “He’s a failure.” Then, after a signal word, we were to shift our thoughts to positive ones: “He’s capable,” “He’s respected,” “He’s strong.”

When the volunteer came back, the test was repeated. This time, as we filled our minds with negativity, something remarkable happened. To the shock of everyone in the room—including the volunteer himself—his strength seemed to vanish. Alan pressed down, and the dealer’s arms collapsed. He looked stunned, confused, and almost embarrassed. “I don’t know what just happened,” he said.

Then Alan gave the signal. Instantly, we all switched to positive thoughts. Again, the volunteer raised his arms and braced himself. This time, his strength returned. Alan pushed hard, but the arms stayed firm, just as they had the first time.

The entire room erupted. It wasn’t a trick. We knew the dealer. He was an honest man, and his disbelief told us this was no gimmick. Something invisible—but very real—had happened. Alan explained it as behavioral kinesiology, a concept researched by Dr. John Diamond. In short, our bodies respond to the messages we receive—from others, yes, but even more powerfully, from ourselves.

That day, I walked out of the room with one truth etched into my mind: the stories we tell ourselves shape the lives we live.

Over the years, I’ve seen that same demonstration repeated. But the most powerful version comes when a person speaks the negative messages about themselves aloud. You can see the weight of self-criticism weaken them before your very eyes. Conversely, when they replace those words with affirmations of strength, their energy and resilience return.

I decided long ago to be intentional about the words I spoke to myself. To this day, I carry with me six affirmations that have guided me through both my career and my life. I used to write them on a notecard, sign and date it daily, almost like a personal contract with myself. They were simple statements, but they packed incredible power:

• I eat good food and feel great.
• I exercise and have high energy.
• I do the homework necessary to succeed.
• I am positive and constructive in all I do.
• I am continuously improving in my life.
• I am 100% responsible for my life.

At first, they were just words. But over time, they became beliefs. And eventually, those beliefs became habits—habits that helped me build a successful career and, more importantly, a fulfilling life.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: life has a way of testing us. People will doubt us. Circumstances will discourage us. And sometimes, our own inner critic will shout the loudest. But just like that dealer in the demonstration, our strength depends on the messages surrounding us. When we fill our minds with negativity, we weaken. When we flood our hearts with positive conviction, we find a strength we didn’t know we had.

So I’ll leave you with this: what story are you telling yourself today? Is it one that drains you, or one that lifts you up? The choice is yours.

You may not be able to control every circumstance in your life, but you can control the words you speak to yourself. And if you choose words of hope, growth, and responsibility, you’ll find yourself stronger—both in body and in spirit—than you ever imagined.

Check out my website for FREE resources and more at www.therivercoach.org
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