Dear Tony, what’s it all about? Why is life so hard at times?

It’s a question I’ve been asked more than once. In fact, it’s a question most of us whisper to ourselves during the late-night quiet or in the middle of a stormy day. We work so hard, chase success with such determination, and yet when we pause—if we pause—we sometimes wonder: what’s waiting for us at the end of the rainbow?

For many, success is defined by titles, achievements, or possessions. It’s the promotion, the bigger house, the recognition from peers. But here’s the thing about success: once you reach a peak, you immediately see another mountain. The finish line keeps moving. That’s why we have to ask ourselves—beyond success, what really matters?

The Scuba Diver’s Secret

A leader I recently spoke with shared a powerful metaphor. On the surface of the water, when you’re scuba diving, it can feel chaotic—waves crashing, winds blowing, the boat rocking. But drop down just a few feet beneath the surface, and suddenly there’s calm. Serene. Peaceful.

Life works the same way. Stay on the surface and you’ll be tossed about by the noise—emails, deadlines, social media, traffic jams, endless to-do lists. But if you’re willing to go deeper, to push below the surface distractions, you’ll find clarity. Stillness. Perspective.

The challenge for each of us is learning how to listen for the signal in our lives, not just the static. The static is loud, insistent, and often meaningless. The signal is softer, but full of truth.

Fingerprints on Earth

At the end of our days, few will remember what car we drove, how many meetings we attended, or how full our calendars looked. But everyone leaves fingerprints. The question is: what kind of fingerprints are you leaving behind?

They show up in the people you encouraged. The time you mentored someone who doubted themselves. The kindness you extended when no one was watching. The decision to lead with integrity when it might have been easier not to.

Our fingerprints are our legacy. They are the quiet marks of a life well lived. Success, in the traditional sense, may fade. But fingerprints endure—in people’s memories, in the choices that ripple out beyond us, in the stories that get told long after we’re gone.

Rising Above the Noise

So how do we rise above the noise of daily life and focus on what matters most? Three thoughts:

1. Pause Often. Step out of the rush, even for a few minutes each day. Ask yourself: am I chasing static or listening for signal?
2. Define Success Differently. Instead of only asking, “What did I achieve?” ask, “Who did I impact? What difference did I make?”
3. Go Deeper. Like the scuba diver, remind yourself that the surface is never the full story. Peace and meaning often live just below the waves.

Why Life Feels Hard

So why is life so hard at times? Because growth comes through resistance. Diamonds form under pressure. Muscles strengthen through strain. Character is revealed not on the easy days, but in how we respond when things get tough.

Life’s difficulties push us to dive deeper. They strip away the illusion that the surface noise is all there is. They remind us that calmness and purpose are still available if we’re willing to go beneath the chaos.

The Rainbow Beyond Success

Maybe the end of the rainbow isn’t about pots of gold or outward achievement at all. Maybe it’s about peace—the calm beneath the waves. Maybe it’s about fingerprints—the impact we leave on others. Maybe it’s about knowing, in the end, that we lived with purpose and made choices that mattered.

So the next time you find yourself whispering, “What’s it all about? Why is life so hard?” remember this: it’s about fingerprints. It’s about impact. It’s about finding calmness beneath the waves.

Success may give us a trophy for the shelf. But significance gives us peace in our soul. And in the end, it’s the fingerprints of significance that outlast us all.

Check out my website for FREE resources and more at www.therivercoach.org NEW BOOK “Things We Desire” coming out 3 November 2025 available for pre-order at all major book retailers